Fuh, penat but still standing with head high in defiance :)

I am very tired, physically and mentally, this few weeks. Having best friends that acts like a**hole every now and then did not help at all, as well as missing her all the time while she doesn't seem to care at all brought me down more (I can't help it, I'm stubborn and only just human :)) Jogging at the lake twice a week contributed to the physical tiredness and work, oh the amount of work keeps me on the edge. Furthermore, education came calling, this year I must continue to my degree or else that fragments of motivation to further my studies will slowly dissipates and will not return.

I've done some thinking lately; am I too nice? Being an overall nice guy seems to bring good to the environment and society but inside it does not feel nice at all; at least not most of the time. Shall I be the insensitive prick who only thinks of himself and use people for their own selfish reason or shall I assume the uncaring attitude and becoming someone who does not give f**ks to everything and anything? Or shall I be a little bit of both and add to the world another a**hole to ruin someone's life and day? Please Allah, I don't want to be jaded like this, give me strength to overcome the obstacles in my life and give me extra, extra patience to deal with a**holes everywhere :p Yeah, I'm not as much as a saint but I don't think I ever hurt others feeling or like the Malay says all the time "tak suka menyusahkan orang lain" :)

And now KJ has won the coveted UMNO Youth leadership and everything becoming bleak more and more. Yet somehow there's a voice whispering somewhere; "give this guy a chance to prove himself, just wait and see and if he doesn't perform or became too power hungry I'm sure Najib can boot him before it's too late" And that's what I'm going to do for the time being...

February...

Kejap jer dah masuk bulan dua. Sebelum apa2, aku ingin mengucapkan Selamat Tahun Baru Cina kepada member2 yg berbangsa Cina. Dah lama tak menjenguk korang. I wonder if they still remember me?

I just got the news from PTPTN that I would be required to pay the full amount for my loans as the result of my negligence of not starting to payback when required. In my defense, when the letter came I was already changed my address to Salak Tinggi area while in PTPTN record I was still living in Subang Jaya. Well the blame came back to me of why did I not changed my address when I should be? OK, the blame gets back to me, yup :( Apa2 pon, rasanya aku kena buat personal loan untuk bayar balik but fortunately I only borrowed less than RM10K so it shouldn't be that much of a burden. Time to start playing with the calculator...

Kecoh sekarang dengan cerita panjenayah mati di dalam lokap. As I was concerned with that recent development, I really felt that it was an unnecessary tantrum that the Indian community is throwing over the death of a single criminal in custody. As the authority are still investigating the death, I really hope that everybody keep their emotions in check and wait for the outcome. I believe our police and the justice system is fair, the individuals who was responsible for his death (if it is proven that he's death was from abuse) will be brought before a judge and prosecute. And after all, other races has also experienced death in lock ups but takde pulak sesapa buat bising. Please, you all are not helping with the racial strain we are experiencing these few years.

I thought with my majority of siblings are on the feminine side, I should be able to understand women in-depth, it seems that I indeed lack that understanding. Now I'm in some kind of confused and confounded state and the only thing that I can do is...well, go with the flow? Ah, I don't even know what to do. Women are indeed creatures from Venus. To yours truly, I sebenarnya still tengah keliru nih. Are you interested or are you not? Or I got excited too early? Are you really mad (becoz of that incident) and in a way; "punishing" me by this act of cold shouldering and waiting for me to pujuk? I must confess here that I am bad, truly bad in appeasing angry souls, especially women. So please tell me something becoz I really, really don't have the slightest idea and this guessing game is taking its toll on me...penat siot...

Terima ajo ler jang...nak buek camano aih...

07/01/2009
Almost a week since "the line" has been cut off just like that, another virus attacks on JKR Selangor network (maknanya berkejar sana-sini buat virus removal), being appointed as one of ICT site supervisor for the Banting Matrix Project (beban keje bertambah dude), my car got clamped at work today coz I forgot to park it properly after registering my attendance (RM30 terbang camtu jer; tahniah 1st timer :) ). Those sure made day :(

Walaubagaimana pon, in the midst of this sucky week I bring you this song from Taylor Swift - Love Story. Eventhough I once despised country songs and singers as well, but looking back, many of my favourite songs and singers ARE countrys. Jewel, Dixie Chicks, Lee Ann Rimes and Keith Urban to name a few. Everything about this song is a ok from its composition, lyric and err the singer :P

P.S- Yeah I'll be ok eventually...