27; there's still time for you...

1234...
Yup, 27 today. I really meant what I put at my FB status. 27 but feels like 17. Don't let appearance fools you. All the 27-40 male demographics are still boys. Even when we have kids, we are still boys. Only the resposibility to family life binds us to reality, but thats it. Deep down, every macho man, every prideful lions and every braggers are actually boys at heart. To all wifes out there, you know how your man behaves right? They are worse when they are 'free' of you :p

2 years ago when I reached 25 I promised myself that I will fix some of my weaknesses and fullfill some dreams that I was thinking back there. After a little walk of reflection yesterday (drive actually), I realized that I've got so much more to do. I promised myself that I will be happily married by 28 (next year? wow, time flies) which was pushed to 30 because of financial concerns of myself and my family, I vow to cure myself of 'anxiety when around lots of people' but I merely contained it and I dreamed to start becoming an entreprenaur and own my own business, but all that I have know is skills that I used seldomly to earn me some RMs now and then.

But in spite of all this I still hold on to the word of wisdom; "Kita hanya merancang, Tuhan juga menentukan". So I'm not too worried not having to fullfill all my wishes just after 2 short years. These things take time and remember that God has charted all the path of our lives, but of course we have to made it happen. But just don't be too hard on ourselves when it didn't go as planned. Give it time and have a lots of patience. This is what I reminded myself everytime.

Dah bunyi macam pep talk lar pulak :p Anyway it's 12.15 am already and I got a long day tomorrow so until next time...

Fuh, penat but still standing with head high in defiance :)

I am very tired, physically and mentally, this few weeks. Having best friends that acts like a**hole every now and then did not help at all, as well as missing her all the time while she doesn't seem to care at all brought me down more (I can't help it, I'm stubborn and only just human :)) Jogging at the lake twice a week contributed to the physical tiredness and work, oh the amount of work keeps me on the edge. Furthermore, education came calling, this year I must continue to my degree or else that fragments of motivation to further my studies will slowly dissipates and will not return.

I've done some thinking lately; am I too nice? Being an overall nice guy seems to bring good to the environment and society but inside it does not feel nice at all; at least not most of the time. Shall I be the insensitive prick who only thinks of himself and use people for their own selfish reason or shall I assume the uncaring attitude and becoming someone who does not give f**ks to everything and anything? Or shall I be a little bit of both and add to the world another a**hole to ruin someone's life and day? Please Allah, I don't want to be jaded like this, give me strength to overcome the obstacles in my life and give me extra, extra patience to deal with a**holes everywhere :p Yeah, I'm not as much as a saint but I don't think I ever hurt others feeling or like the Malay says all the time "tak suka menyusahkan orang lain" :)

And now KJ has won the coveted UMNO Youth leadership and everything becoming bleak more and more. Yet somehow there's a voice whispering somewhere; "give this guy a chance to prove himself, just wait and see and if he doesn't perform or became too power hungry I'm sure Najib can boot him before it's too late" And that's what I'm going to do for the time being...

I present you; a poem...

ANIP

I was always wondering,
Isn't YM good enough,
Do we have to also give a ring,
Gee, it's quite tough.

I'm kinda slow but sure,
I like to know, to talk, to see,
The way for me to see that you're pure,
Not just some wanna-be.

I admit that I am just at start,
5 months will not make me king,
But you have to know that this is life in part,
Tomorrow we know not what might bring.

Probably I'm like Dexter,

Just minus the killing part,

Society has never undestand me better,

Social for me it's never an art.

Anyways I think I'll end it here,

It's 5 am already and I'm sleepy,

To understand me is to get close to me; dear,

I am not joking, really :)

Thinking about...

zima
New workplace, new target...Ah, that's typical of me. Persoalannya adakah aku patut ambil langkah lain dari yang sebelum ini atau buat benda yang sama jer? Sebelum nih memang definitely tak jadi walaupun ada jugak ler perkembangan; but at least better, much better than anything before. Maybe apa yang aku tunggu sekarang adalah signal yang clear supaya aku boleh mulakan langkah seterusnya. Or should I start practice aggressive approach right now? Seeing how passive approach or no approach at all that I practiced all this while didn't yield any results...

Well, the moment to get serious will be in about 2 years time so it's quite a dilemma...