27; there's still time for you...

1234...
Yup, 27 today. I really meant what I put at my FB status. 27 but feels like 17. Don't let appearance fools you. All the 27-40 male demographics are still boys. Even when we have kids, we are still boys. Only the resposibility to family life binds us to reality, but thats it. Deep down, every macho man, every prideful lions and every braggers are actually boys at heart. To all wifes out there, you know how your man behaves right? They are worse when they are 'free' of you :p

2 years ago when I reached 25 I promised myself that I will fix some of my weaknesses and fullfill some dreams that I was thinking back there. After a little walk of reflection yesterday (drive actually), I realized that I've got so much more to do. I promised myself that I will be happily married by 28 (next year? wow, time flies) which was pushed to 30 because of financial concerns of myself and my family, I vow to cure myself of 'anxiety when around lots of people' but I merely contained it and I dreamed to start becoming an entreprenaur and own my own business, but all that I have know is skills that I used seldomly to earn me some RMs now and then.

But in spite of all this I still hold on to the word of wisdom; "Kita hanya merancang, Tuhan juga menentukan". So I'm not too worried not having to fullfill all my wishes just after 2 short years. These things take time and remember that God has charted all the path of our lives, but of course we have to made it happen. But just don't be too hard on ourselves when it didn't go as planned. Give it time and have a lots of patience. This is what I reminded myself everytime.

Dah bunyi macam pep talk lar pulak :p Anyway it's 12.15 am already and I got a long day tomorrow so until next time...

Takers...

ANIP

Aku tak tau apasal, tapi aku memang kurang gemar dengan orang yang suka ambil kesempatan. Maaf, bukan sahaja kurang gemar, tapi meluat. Being friendly with someone just to take advantage is also a no-no in my TENETS OF AL. It is just as bad. And I realize that I don't have to feel guilty if I refuse politely to do any favors (which I probably should be doing a long time ago). Sepanjang 26 tahun yang pendek yang aku lalui dalam hidup ni, ada juga aku terserempak dengan mereka-mereka yang boleh dikategorikan sebagai tukang ambil kesempatan. Modus operandinya pelbagai, dari cara-cara yang tersirat tapi tersurat kepada terus-terang lagi nyata.

Tersirat tapi tersurat lebih mengutamakan membina satu perhubungan yang agak rapat dengan aku sebelum tembelang sebenar pecah. Cara ini dapat menuai favors secara lebih berkesan lagi sebelum aku dapat mengesan dan memulakan penolakan secara halus. Cara terus-terang lagi nyata lebih direct dan blunt, membuatkan darah aku mendidih lagi cepat, tapi kerosakan tidak banyak dan lebih terkawal. Ini kerana aku dapat mengesan dengan serta-merta dan seperti biasa, penolakan secara halus akan dilakukan atau penolakan direct dan penuh dengan sinis (bergantung kepada situasi :)).

Why oh why that we humans tend to take advantage at every turn, can't we just do something voluntarily in turn, without rewards without interests, just give some helping hands and in the end, it's in our best interests. Don't you feel happy and fullfiled just to be able to help people? Its ok if they don't know it but anyways God knows. That my friend, is the true meaning of being an unsung hero.

I really don't understand human behaviors :(

I present you; a poem...

ANIP

I was always wondering,
Isn't YM good enough,
Do we have to also give a ring,
Gee, it's quite tough.

I'm kinda slow but sure,
I like to know, to talk, to see,
The way for me to see that you're pure,
Not just some wanna-be.

I admit that I am just at start,
5 months will not make me king,
But you have to know that this is life in part,
Tomorrow we know not what might bring.

Probably I'm like Dexter,

Just minus the killing part,

Society has never undestand me better,

Social for me it's never an art.

Anyways I think I'll end it here,

It's 5 am already and I'm sleepy,

To understand me is to get close to me; dear,

I am not joking, really :)

Entahlah dude strikes back...

Feeling a bit down today and damn confuse as well. Hmmm, konpius tuh dari beberapa minggu yang lepas, tapi down tuh ari nih. Ni la akibatnya kalo minatkan gula. Banyak pulak semut-semut lain yang datang menghurung. Anyway apa-apa pon down hari nih aku sedar agak pointless. Just male hormon taking charge kot. Hormon tak balance sangat ari nih kot :P.

Kepada 26-9-13-1, I am not a fool rushing in. Your friendship is more important than any lovestruck feeling so I will not be hasty. My method is still the same. From friendship, the feeling of love I believe will grow slowly. If you're reading this, please give me a chance to prove myself. Wait for just a little while so that I may build up myself. Yela orang baru keje proper, what do you expect? Again if you're reading this, please give me any hint. I know I am sometimes a little bit blur. Anyway, please wait ok? (Cis, mcm ada org gelak jer kat belakang tuh. Cis :P)

Aku sedar pon yg method aku selama nih agak slow and unconventional. I am comfortable with using a YM or any IM to strike conversation. I am not comfy on calling anyone, except for people that I am really close to. I even prefer using SMS than calling. But behind all that lies the reason that I believe, that I am being thoughtful. Aku kurang gemar dan aku percaya yang orang kurang gemar dpt call or strike phone conversation malam2 buta. Except if their love ones calling. And tu yang aku tak sure tuh. So I hope we have an understanding.

P.S- Kepada member2 gamers, otaku militari & politikus skalian, jangan risau. Walaupun 1-2 posts kebelakangan nih agak beremosi dan jiwang, tp rakan anda ini tetap seorang gamers yang minat hal2 militari & politik dlm dan luar negeri. Percayalah. Dia akan kembali :)

P.S II - Please treat this posting as a "luahan rasa hati". One must understand, being me is like being an unofficial counselor. Keje aku adalah mendengar rintihan2 hati member sampaikan bila time aku, maybe aku kena jumpa real kaunselor kot, kekeke...

Entahlah dude...

26-9-13-1
Hmmm, agak sibuk sikit 1-2 minggu ni. Audit datang dan pergi. Minggu lepas Anugerah Khidmat Cemerlang SUK. Memang kena "grill" dengan ahli-ahli panel. Well, what do you expect? Dalam masa 3 bulan, dari JKR Selangor yang hanya ada Jawatankuasa Keselamatan ICT yang macam hidup tak hidup dengan technical support oleh vendor, sekarang dah ada Unit ICT sendiri walaupun secara tak official. Lepas tu lepaskan aduan JKR kat kitorang. Assign sorang staff tetap hampir pencen yang kedatangan macam biskut. Tetap dua orang jugak yang bole buat kerja. Memang masak ler. Besok(hari ni) pulak ada bengkel STAR Rating oleh bahagian Pasukan Petugas Khas; expect more grillling. Macamana pun, benda ni kena amik positif, at least by Oktober kitorang dah boleh ready untuk audit dari MAMPU pulak. That's the most important. Apa-apa pon, kerja macam biasa ler kot. Lepas tu tunggu gaji hujung bulan. Lumrah kehidupan makan gaji :)

1-2 minggu ni jugak tak keruan sikit. Excited ada, confuse pon ada. Memang kat setiap tempat kerja baru atau tempat study baru macam ni. Ada harapan untuk dapat tapi lepas tu macam ada orang nak masuk potong line jugak. Pasal tuh macam malas jer dengan competition nih. It can be dirty and always frusfrating. Orang dah kahwin nak cerai patut carik janda/duda jugak. Bagi ler peluang kat orang muda yang takde apa-apa nih :P. Anyway, tu rezeki masing-masing. I'm not complaining even though I felt like it. Buat-buat bodo jer ler buat masa sekarang nih. Berusaha setakat yang mampu jer ler, I guess. Lumrah kehidupan...

P.S- Memang bahasa pasar habis aku nih :P...